I am an ex addict. I had gotten very addicted to sniffing coccaine years ago. I am fully recovered now, which is by the grace of God above only. Except for one relapse, I have been clean from it for going on 16 years now, and been free from drinking alcohol for going on 3 years. A near fatal and severe car accident in 1996 had almost left me crippled indefinitely, had it not been for my will to want to walk and better my life again. I spent 2 years in a wheel chair, and was actually told that I would never walk again. But I wanted better, becaue I had not one cent to buy myself new things, and people were treating me like crap. I had also began to gain quite a bit of weight, and at the peak of it, I weighed 405 lbs. at one point. Anyway, after 2 years of being in that wheel chair, I decided to have a surgeon, against his wishes, operate on me and take out the long metal rods from my legs. He reluctlantly did, and I slowly but surely began my journey back to the walking world. In between that time, just after my 1998 surgery, my grandma passed away. A month after her death in the same year, my uncle, who was her son, committed suicide. A month after he killed himself, my mother just suddenly died unexpectantly of a massive heart attack. She was like the best part of what small world that I had at that time. So these deaths, mainly hers, set me back in a depression state of being, which almost caused me to just give up myself. But I pushed through it, and went through undescribable emotional and physical pain. I began to get my self esteem back, which was lost due to family and friends’ abuse while I was in the wheelchair and couldn’t fend for myself. But I made it, I worked out, and worked hard at it. And now, 10 years later from my family’s deaths, here I am; I am waking, running, kicking, and I now weigh not 405 lbs that I did weigh, but I now weigh about 220. I feel great. I am very happily married to a wonderful woman, been m arried going on 3 years now. I had to tell all of this, which I had posted here in Yahoo a time before concerning guilt, in order to ask my medication question. So here goes the question: I had started having some severe cramps and pains in my knees and ankles. I had crushed one knee in the wreck, broke both ankles, and fractured the other knee pretty badly, and had also broken about 3 inches of bone in my upper right femur (leg). Anyway, The pains had started hurting me more, and preventing me from doing certain things that I wanted to do. I have been told several times that I am in need of total knee replacements, but the doctors want to hold off as long as they can due to my age and how long the knee replacements lasts. They would only be able to replace my knees twice, with each time lasting 8 to 10 years. After that, I would prolly be chair/bedridden. Anyway, my family doctor had me start going to a pain management doctor for my problems. The doctor started me on some medication, and I am taking 10/325 mg oxycodone pills, 5 times daily, and also 30 mg extended release morphine pills, 3 times daily. They have tried the anti-inflamatory medicines many times, and some of them I am allergic to, and the otehrs dont work, but just make me gain weight. Sometimes the charlie horses that I get are so unbearable, I come to tears during those episodes. Anyways, Since I have been on those meds, everything in my life has improved. My work performance and stability at my job, which requires standing up 10 to 12 hrs daily. I am able to ride that bicycle that I was told I would never be able to ride. I just can do so much more. Like I said, I have never been addicted to anything except the sniffing of cocaine, which I have been in remission really for about 16 years minus one setback. The pills are very addicting as I have read, but I am not developing that addiction to them. So my questions is that my wife is constantly worrying about me taking those types of medications, being that they are narcotics; and she worries to the point at times to where she totally stresses over them. She is afraid that they are going to kill me, or that they will lead me right back to ujsing cocaine again. I keep telling her that it ain’t happening, but she still worries. My doctor is a very good and very careful doctor, and she monitors me with those meds closely. How can or what can I do to calm my wife once and for all that the meds are really helping me, and not a hinderance at all? Since I have been taking them, the charlie horses that makes me cry sometimes have diminished a great deal, and so has the other pains that I was having. But also, should I be worried too, that they will lead me back to the cocaine and booze? It hurts me that my wife is so worried that she becomes agitated and stressful, but I don’t know what to do. Her getting that way causes me to worry as well. Can anyone out here provide me with any feedback? I know that I have come