Can my husband take my kids away for no reason other than money?
I decided to get information on what a separation means from an on-base attorney. My husband has threatened to cancel my debit/credit card to our joint account if I leave and I wanted to make sure I would be financially ok for our kids. My husband was supposed to have gone with me to speak with him because I wanted my husband to know his rights too, but at the last minute he didn’t want either one of us to go and was upset with me when I went anyway. When I got home he told me there’s no way he’d let me have the kids and he’d fight tooth and nail to keep them. I asked why he didn’t think I would be able to take care of them and he said, “I don’t. You’re a great mother. But you will NOT get them. I’ll fight until you lose them.” I don’t have a job or money of my own because we had decided that I would stay home with our kids. I plan on getting a job if we separate because I don’t want our kids to grow up the way I did, pretty much in poverty. It’s a fear of mine. He’s in the military and deploys a few times a year. He’s admitted he’s an alcoholic but refuses to get treatment. He’s not emotionally stable and has a terrible temper. He’s trying to get counseling through our church because it’s anonymous though, but even they said he needs to seek a higher form of counseling. I’m going to counseling as well, and we were going to counseling together but he doesn’t want to go back because he says he’s picked on and made to feel evil.
I don’t hate him, actually I love him very much I just can’t live with the drinking, lies and anger. This is tearing me apart, and I don’t want him to come across as only the things I’ve mentioned. He’s a good father when alcohol and depression isn’t involved, actually, he’s a good husband then too. He just isn’t getting help and it’s wearing on me and the kids too. I’m sorry if I come across as a terrible wife.
Tagged with: Away • husband • Kids • money • reason • take • Than
Filed under: Alcohol Depression Treatment
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My father is an Alchoholic, and it’s tough. I give you respect for making the decision to leave. It all comes down to how fit of a parent you would be, and unfrotunately money is an important part of this “fitness”. You can be the best parent in the world, but if you can’t afford to feed your kids, they will give them to your husband. However child support also comes into play. If your income, in addition to your husband child support payments work otu, then you have a better chance. You already have a great chance since your husbands an alocholic. It’s a strike against him, and he will be seen as unfit to parent. In a nutshell it’s yes, and no. Yes he can get the kids, but only if you make so little that even in addition to his child support you are unable to feed the kids. They sometimes have a special stipulation, that the father must show he quit, or will be quitting his drinking habit to get the kids also. Good luck.
You have to have proof of these things (drinking, temper, etc). If you don’t have a job and no means to support the children he could very well get custody. But…you will have to talk to an attorney. If I were you I would get a job.
He can threaten you all he wants but it is just threats. First of all, he can cancel your atm card but you can get another one. He cannot take you off a joint account legally and if he does when the divorce is final, he will owe you anything that was in the account the day you walked out so get a statement.
The base has counseling for these problems and they too are confidential. The base counselor is used to dealing with your husbands problems so he could be a great help if your husband would just go see him.
If he is unwilling to work on his problems, Addiction, Abuse and Adultery are the only valid reasons as far as I am concerned for divorce and your husband is displaying 2 of those. Most of all, you do not want your children to follow in his footsteps. Tell him to get real professional help or you are leaving and do it.
You can go to your county social services and they will help you get set up in a house and help you financially until you can get on your feet.
Red
Sweet heart, at most he will get joint custody with you as their primary care taker. You can also get spousal support and child support. Unless he can deem you unfit (which you have to be a convicted drug using prostitute practically.) those kids will not be taken away from you. You need to go file for child custody and support before he does. Then he has the burden of proof.
Good luck