Okay… So I’ve been feeling this way for a little over a year and a half now and I’m sick of it, so I want to see what I can do to fix it. I’d like to have an idea of what’s wrong with me before I walk into the doctor’s office though.

1. Worried. Constantly. About everyday things that really aren’t that big of deal. Something as simple as driving to the grocery store calls for about 20 minutes of analysis. I constantly feel like everyone’s staring at me, judging me, and even though I’m surrounded by friends all of the time and people tell me that they absolutely adore me, I constantly question whether or not they, or even my family for that matter, really like me or care about me at all, or if they just hang out with me to be nice. Even when I have no reason to worry, I worry.

2. Panic attacks. I do have them. Rarely, but I do have them. nothing brings them on, there’s no reason for them happening, but I get really upset, really nervous, and start shaking and crying uncontrollable.

3. I also feel fatigued alot. Like there’s not much of point in going out and doing anything. I still go out with friends to the bar and what not, but I don’t really talk too much. I typically just sit there. The only time I ever really am active and social and outgoing is when I’m under the influence of alcohol, which I’ve been using as self medication quite frequently lately. (I know it’s bad. I’ve slowed my roll so no comments on alcoholism please!)

4. I feel like I’m not going anywhere. Like everyone else has a plan and is moving in a fast pace and I’m stuck in slow motion. I question whether or not there’s really anything better out there, or whether this is as good as it’s gonna get.

5. I’m not happy, but I’m not really sad either. I’m just apathetic to everything. I don’t really hope or look forward to things anymore, because I always expect the worst possible outcome for any given situation. It’s like I could be hear today, and disappear tomorrow and it wouldn’t make much of a difference at all.

Is this depression or anxiety?
Is it possible it could be both?

Do you have problems like these?
How do you cope?

Tagged with: AnxietyDepressiondisorderlikeSoundthis

Filed under: Alcohol Self Medication

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