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alcohol? What sort of tactics do you use to manipulate them? Guilt? Holding favors over their head? Lies? Threats of violence to yourself or others? How well does this work for you?

I know of some parents that don’t have anything else in their life besides. I love my kids, I love being around them, and I love taking care of them but I’m still me, and I like to see a little diversity in people’s life

I live in a big city. We’ve been here 6 years and the novelty of it stil hasn’t worn off yet. I work at the hospital with people who are about to or have had treatments/surgery and comfort them, wait with them and do basic procedures. I left my best friends in my old southern town. I have met some really nice people here, through work and just being around, and some of them even became my good girlfriends. I’m up for anything, really, and I am easygoing. I feel lucky every day that I’m with the man I love. I’ve known him since I was 18, and now we’re 35. My only real personal problems are my husband’s mother who used to be on drugs, alcohol, has depression, treated her kids like crap.

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I think I am getting a hard lesson in adulthood. For years I have avoided taking responsibility for the various aspects of my life and now I am paying the price. Getting fired from my job I think was the nail in the coffin of my immaturity so to speak. Now, I am facing things and situations that I don’t really know how to deal with. as in the past, I have asked others for help. As if I wanted them to try to solve the problem for me. I’ve never dealt with these difficult situations before. At 29 years old, I feel pretty ashamed of myself and my inability to take care of myself. I guess this is a culmination of the last 10 years. A culmination of not taking care of my ADHD and depression symptoms. A culmination of not taking responsibility for my life. A culmination of not having any direction in life. I guess I could blame my perents for this, but I dont want to get into the blame trap because this causes one to avoid taking responsibility. However, I cant help but think how different things would be if I had some kind of role model in life. Some person to look up to and kick me in the ass when I was younger. I think this is the pain of not having a father in my life. I dont think I ever dealt with this issue. has been right on some things about the way I have been. I’ve been oblivious to to my behaviors, but maybe I just didnt want to take responsibility. this is a hard pill to swallow, but maybe there is something to this. Looking back, I always sought an escape from my problems through video games, television, internet and alcohol. I’ve done this to the point where now I dont know how to handle things. this brings me back to what I was originaly writing about. I’m learning a really hard lesson in life.
When confronted with all these problems, my immediate reaction is to ignore it, to put it off and simply not worry about it or let register how serious the problem is. I seek escapes such as the internet, alcohol, or video games. I give up too easily. I have no self confidence, self esteem and asertiveness. All of this I also didn’t work on because I just felt that it was easier to isolate myself from people. I might have learned that as a defense mechanism while I was in high school. this however is not working for me anymore.

How do I make some honest change?

I don’t understand why just because someone maybe having fun going out, drinking and partying it is automatically deemed as some sort of illness. There are people who can control their behavior. Their alcohol intake, etc. Why is such a far fetched notion that someone could actually be “normal”? Is it because there are so many that aren’t? Or could the ones saying it’s not “normal” behavior are just envious that someone is normal? It upsets me that we are in a society that automatically judges others because they are not like them and assumes that there is something mentally wrong and they need meds and therapy. There isn’t a person in this world that can say they have had a perfect life without a tear one. Or never felt blue, or angry. I don’t think the world needs to be on meds and needs to see a therapist for the rest of their lives. We are too willing to medicate instead of treat the underlying issues. For the most part, people just need to get over the past, realize they can’t change it, learn from it and move on. Usually just talking about it with friends helps. There are the few who do have a chemical imbalance and if it can be helped with medication then more power to them. But before we just assume that is the cure all, realize that it could do more damage than good. It could actually cause a chemical imbalance. It takes some people years of trying different cocktails of meds before they get the right perscription together, then after the body becomes acclimated to it, it needs to be changed again. The Doctors don’t even know what really works. But we (especially on this site) are so quick to diagnose. Think about it, there was life and depression way before there was psychiatrists, therapists, and meds, and society wasn’t as violent or uncaring as they are now. Does it go hand in hand. Who knows.

Teens need acceptance. It is a fact!!! If there is no family life invovlement than teens will find it elsewhere. Teens will turn to alcohol, sex, gangs, other things to find that acceptance. I see it all clear now. Adults use the old copout…”You can teach your kids right from wrong but they will most likely do it anyways”. I totally disagree. If kids are invovled with their parents and family, they won’t have time for other things such as hanging out until 2-3 AM Friday or Saturday night getting drunk, and having sex. It is a shame that some parents only contact with their kids are 2-3 minute conversations on cell phones. OOOOOH don’t say I am not correct. It is true. Parents are more to blame on their kids actions than kids are.

when i was 3 or 4 (i dont remember) my little brother died because he choked on a grape i gave him. i remember that day as though it was yesterday. last summer (09) i cryed all the time at night because i could not get the memory out of my head. i started to abuse pills and cut myself. i carved his name into my skin. i still cry and cut when i think about that day. i have never told any of my friends about that. my parents and grandparents fought over custody of me when i was little also. my grandparents won, but i still talk to my mom and my dad (they are separated) sometimes. i cry when i miss them so bad and when i wonder about what it would be like if i lived with my mom or my dad instead. my grandparents do not want me to do so but i do anyways. i cry when i think about any of these things. in october i got drunk hoping that i would forget these things. it did not work but the hangover was so bad it convinced me to not drink again. i am currently 13 and i got so depressed over the christmas break that i got fu**ed up on benadryl. i regret my actions as it caused me to become sick.

the point: do you think i am depressed or do you think i have something else?